


Love and Loss

by flamerush101



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Post-Episode: s13e23 Let the Good Times Roll, Sad Ending, Time running out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:35:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamerush101/pseuds/flamerush101
Summary: Castiel remembers what happened between him and Dean before Dean said 'yes' to Michael.





	Love and Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'm FINALLY writing a Destiel fic after like, 5 Sabriel fics in a goddamn row. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this, and bask in the pain I felt thanks to this friggin' episode.

Cas hadn’t spoken a word since Sam and Jack had returned.

 

He didn’t want to anyways.

 

It’s not like he could, after...that...had happened.

 

_“With me, you’d be stronger than you’ve ever been,” Dean said. Cas was standing behind him, not believing what he was hearing._

_“Oh, I know what you are,” Michael said. Cas looked at Dean in horror, trying to avoid the sting in his eyes._

_“If we work together, can we beat Lucifer?” he said._

_“Dean--” Cas had began to say._

_“CAN WE?” Dean demanded, avoiding Cas. Dean knew what he was doing, he knew what he was giving up. He couldn’t look at Cas, knowing damn well what the angel’s_   
_expression would be._

_Michael smirked, a sinister grin on his face._

_“We’d have a chance,” he said._

_“Dean, you can’t…” Cas trailed off._

_“Lucifer has Sam. He has Jack. Cas, I don’t have a choice!” Dean said, desperation edging his tone. He turned back to Michael, clenching his fists._

_“If we do this, it’s a one-time deal. I’m in charge. You are the engine, but I’m behind the wheel, understand?”_

_Michael smiled, and nodded._

_Dean said, “Let us have a moment.”_

_He and Cas walked into the hallway outside the war room. Dean’s mind raced, trying to think of what words he’d have the chance to say before Michael’s essence would soon be_

_within him. He slowly looked up, eyes tracing along the face of his angel. He marked every detail into his mind, because this might very well be the last time he’d ever have the_

_chance to see him._

_“Cas, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that this is what has to happen. Last time, there was another choice. We had more help then. But now, we don’t. And I’m not gonna let Lucifer destroy_

_everything I’ve ever cared about!”_

_“Dean, I fought and killed so you wouldn’t have to say yes to him! Now, none of that would’ve mattered!”_

_“I’d rather be trapped within my own mind forever then have my own family be killed!”_

_Silence rang between them._

_Dean looked down at Cas’ hand, and reached out his own hand, linking their fingers together. Cas’ eyes widened, realizing exactly what was about to happen._

_Dean gave up any sense of embarrasment in that moment and kissed his angel. There was a small bit of hesitancy from Cas, but he eventually melted into it. Dean thought_

_about how long he had wanted this, for a chance to show his angel just how much he meant to him. All those years of nothing, and now there was something._

_Their kiss became a little more hungry, a little more wild, tongues touching and licking inside their mouths. This would be their first--and possibly last--kiss, so they needed to_

_take up on the oppurtunity while they still had it. A small moan escaped Cas as he wrapped his arms around his hunter, clinging to him like a lifeline. Dean felt nothing and_

_everything all at once. He wanted this to last forever. He wanted more, so much more._

_But, they eventually had to let go, time running out as it was. Catching their breaths, looking at each other with all the love they could throw in._

_Dean raised up a hand, cupping Cas’ cheek. He smiled at his angel, green eyes bearing into the familiar blue ones._

_“Cas, I hope you know now. I hope you know how much I...I love you.” It felt so good to finally that, after years of waiting and watching._

_“I love you too, Dean. I love you more than this world can contain,” Cas said. Dean smiled so wide. His angel loved him too, which is something he’d never forget._

 

_They exchanged one final, gentle kiss before returning to the war room, Michael awaiting them._

_Cas watched as Dean said ‘yes’ and Michael’s grace flooded into him._

_He waited, and waited._

_And he heard Dean on angel radio when he declared that Lucifer was finally dead, and just as soon as he’d said it, he was cut off._

_And Cas knew it was because Michael had taken control of him._

 

And so here he was, staring off blankly, trying so hard not cry.

 

The man he loved was gone, and now he would have to find a way to get him back.


End file.
